10 Things About Motherhood I Wish I Knew Before

My journey as a mom is a roller coaster ride full of emotions. It wasn't easy as I have to deal with different kinds of motherho...


My journey as a mom is a roller coaster ride full of emotions. It wasn't easy as I have to deal with different kinds of motherhood do's and dont's, what ifs and what's more. So many unsolicited advice when you share your day to day activity and so many Know-It-All Mom's out there. Don't judge, but admit it, some mom's are better off with or without all the information you feed themLet them live freely, on their own terms, on their own experience. As we all know, all of us became a first time mom too and I know for sure, you wouldn't like the idea either. Every child is unique, therefore every parenting is much way different for every home.



Since Isobelle is now 4 years old and I am beginning to get back on my usual self, much time for my reading and writing, balancing my day as a mom and and wife, it's getting a lot easier as day passes. But what if, one day, we decided to have another one? What are the things that I wanted to do when that time comes which I didn't do as I raise Isobelle? What are some of the Millennial Moms doing that I don't want to follow? Read on my take on motherhood and how I deal with it.

On terms of giving birth, Caesarian or Normal?
Isobelle was born through Caesarian Method although the birth plan was Normal. But due to loop cord, we have to do an emergency CS. One thing I learned about this was, having an ultrasound every month and even right before you give birth. Because who knows? Maybe if I did an ultrasound a week before my labor I could have known Isobelle's position. I was 1 cm dilated for 4 hours and the baby isn't getting out. Good thing that my OB was alert and suspected that it may be a loop cord that keeps the baby inside me. I was on the verge at that time and the only thing I can think of was, whatever happens, please save the baby. God didn't permit to have us both in danger. It was a successful delivery. I don't know if I can bear a normal delivery next time but if the OB says so, I will trust her. I just hope that the judgment towards giving birth will stop. Because whatever they have gone through, each of us have a different story. 

The Breastfeeding Mama
Could have I read so much and know a lot with breastfeeding techniques before Isobelle pop out, I could have survive breastfeeding. Apparently, I only got a week to feed her. She wasn't latching due to many circumstances alongside my discomfort because of my stitch and the eyes of every one who visits me during that time telling me what to do. But above this all, I was informed that I didn't try at all which is not true because even if I only have a week to try, I TRIED. I try to feed her when we are alone, at night when I wasn't feeling well to stand up, trying different position just to make her latch, but she really wasn't latching. Maybe it is true that whatever you feel, you also pass the feeling towards your child. Maybe that is one of the reason why we can't push through. I also tried pumping, but I use a regular pump and manually doing it is tiresome and not helping enough to produce more milk. I could have bought an electric one which is by far most suitable to use for my engorging breasts. I could have feed Isobelle the best of milk I have that time, but I failed. I hope that on our next child, I can be that Breastfeeding Mama.

Babywearing
I've seen a lot of my friends who are doing this and I don't know this before, honestly. I've been carrying Isobelle for much longer until two years old because she cannot sleep. I have difficulty bringing her with me when I go to places because we have a bulky stroller or I have to carry her from time to time. Maybe I can try this next time, but I am not really sure if I can do it.

Cloth Diapering
This by far is one of the most issue for me. I've been using disposable diaper since day 1 and I've been receiving awful comments ever since because they said that I am wasting a lot of money. I know, but don't judge till you weren't in my shoe. As long as I can have that money to buy 1, I don't think there's something wrong about that. I admire those who use cloth diapers, really, because they are not just saving the environment and their money but also because they are not afraid of the work after. Because I am, I am cringing at the thought of washing a cloth with a poop. Seriously, this will still be a NO on our next baby. Up to now, we're still using nappies because Isobelle is not yet ready for potty.

First Baby Food
They say that the first thing a mother should think of is the child's health. Along with it is how you feed them. Baby's first food is also one of the topics mother's are fighting for. Mother's have different approach when it comes to this one. Some tend to feed their child with Cerelac which some mother's claim that it is not a healthy option. But count me in on those who use Cerelac as Isobelle's first food aside from the mash potato. I have a mix of it and maybe that's one of the culprit on why Isobelle tends to be a picky eater. I'll try to do the tamang kain for our next baby and see if it has an effect to proper feeding. It's hard to prepare decent meals actually, up to now, I am struggling because I don't do grocery and I don't usually eat fruits and veggies. The only thing we can eat are potatoes, carrots, squash and sometimes sayote. For fruits, we rarely have apples and ponkan and Isobelle is not eating them, just smirking and avoiding it, though she loves freshly squeezed orange juice.

Exposure to Technology, hence the power of gadgets
This is one of the questionable and still debatable among others. But the thing is, with Isobelle, I notice that she's more into visual that is why I allow her screen time as oppose to what other's say. She can learn so much more with every educational videos and apps in one sitting. Then, as a parent, I guide her and review her. This step is always skipped by parents. Admit it, that some parent just use technology and gadgets to keep their child busy while they are doing something else may it be a chore or work. We should also instill to parents that having conversations while she's watching will add impact to using the gadgets and not just letting him/her watch whatever they want on Youtube. Be that parent who also learns alongside with your child. Think of ways and activities on how you can incorporate what she learns through apps on an activity away from gadget. That way you can keep the balance between exposing her though television and mobiles, and letting her explore offline. 

Prep schooling versus homeschooling
I was always asked if Isobelle is already going to school because she knows about the basics, colors, shapes and alphabet, singing nursery rhymes and such. But I always shrug with the idea of sending her off to school for preparatory. Aside from it's expensive since we were advised by Development Pedia for a private school, I don't want her to be cramming up just so she can be learning with her age group. I don't judge those who send off their child, as long as the child itself is having fun with school, but let me reiterate that I am annoyed by those parents who let their child go to school at a young age just because the parents wants to and just because it's mandatory and uso. I wanted an environment for Isobelle wherein she can just relax while she's still not age appropriate for school. I wanted her to freely learn at her own pace, at her own interest and at the same time at a much suitable place which is our home. Why? Because I always believe that education should start at home with the help of parents. I don't want her to be that child who happens to depend on tutors just because she doesn't want to follow her mom or dad who's teaching her. I don't want her to be that child at an age of 6 carrying a big bag full of books she doesn't really use everyday. I don't want her to solve mathematics and chemistry which is not really applied on daily living and on her future life. I wanted her to learn and teach me on how to be the best parent I can be by investing my time during this stage, setting aside my other priorities while she's still young. Because for now, she needs me more than she needs somebody.

Saving for her Future a.k.a Long Term Investments
One thing I ensure before Isobelle came to us is to secure a bank account dedicated for her. So right after I have her documents, the birth certificate and such, I go to BDO and applied for an account. I open up an account in which all of her money was put into. From Baptismal to Birthdays and Christmas aginaldo's I put it in her bank account. A year later, when I have enough funds to open up an investment, I input her money first at SIDC Cooperative wherein I allot an amount for a year, a time deposit which earned 3%. After that, I use her money to invest under BPI's UITF. I wanted it to grow because it's not always that she will receive money from others, and I want her to save at a young age. So when the time comes, that we can no longer support her needs, she can have enough money to get by, and just in case we might not have enough for her schooling.

Not loosing yourself above it all
With all the stress and circumstances you might face, the most advisable thing to do is to do not overdo what you have to do. Take one step at a time. Everyone can learn at her own pace and having it all would have a negative impact much more when you are not prepared enough to do so. Do not loose yourself in the process of giving the best parenting to your child. Have a ME time each time you feel like you're so full. Ask your husband to spend a day with you to also rekindle your relationship with him. Or ask your mom or in-laws to have your baby for an hour or two so you could recharge. It's hard to do it all together but it's harder to have it done with a tired body and mind. There's a research that some mother's die because of this. Have a pamper time when you feel like you're almost drained for a week long activity at home. That's what I do and I feel empowered each time I am recharge. It's like I am a Wonder Woman feeling, ready to take the unlimited task as a MOM.

I hope that this can also help other aspiring moms and mom to be. I hope that you can also share your take as a mom in the comments section or feel free to send me a message if you want to be anonymous. Perhaps sharing something like this would also help others who is struggling just like me. 

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22 comments

  1. I love this! I think so many people read up on how to be the perfect Mum and then when it comes to reality everything is different and it panics us. These are the actual important things to know!

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    1. I even bought books when I was pregnant just so I could be ready but hell no, there are things not really written on the book and only mums who experience them are the great source of idea.

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  2. These are things I'd never really think of as I don't have kids, but I'm sure loads of mums can relate to these x

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    1. By the time you have one you'll relate to this load of things

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  3. I totally agree with all of these. Becoming a mummy is huge and there is so much that we have to suddenly learn and that can be really difficult!

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  4. I am not a mom, but I have a niece I'm very involved with. I agree it's a steep learning curve, and no matter how much advice you get or classes you take nothing completely prepares you for motherhood or parenthood.

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    1. I used to take care nieces too, but apparently it's just a baby step to taking care of your own child.

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  5. I enjoyed reading this post. The parenting books don’t prepare us enough for parenting. I am still learning something new about being a parent everyday.

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    1. Exactly, I read the books of What To Expect but not all are written there. :) And it's enjoyable to discover something new right?

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  6. Love these tips! I am so excited to enter the journey of motherhood...I can't imagine how much your heart grows!

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    1. Happy to know that you love them :) You can always drop by here if ever you become a mom soon!

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  7. So true!! And we all need to do what is best for us, our children and our families. Sage advice for new moms for sure! :)

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  8. I only breastfed for a month, after that, I fed my son with formula milk. Breastfeeding was too painful for me and I wasn't expressing enough milk. Quite honestly, I told myself I didn't try hard enough to breastfeed. But whatever, I told myself, I also needed to go back to work right away to earn for my son's needs. And those things never made me less of a mom. Other people are just judgmental.

    Also, my son became a "Youtube baby" for quite some time while my husband and I were both working in the call center. It was just so tough, but thankfully, he learned a lot from Youtube! Sooo laban lang tayooo! :)

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    1. True on judgmental thingy. Ewan ko ba, parang big deal masyado sa kanila if we are not in their paths. To think na dapat, my family, my rules. yaaas for the youtube baby :D I think as long as it's educational naman and na gguide pa din ng parents then there's no harm. I find it also hypocrite na as if hindi sila nag screen time. Maybe then can tell me that if 0 screen time sila. E sa takbo ng technology ngayon sooner or later mas high tech pa ang lalabas when our baby becomes adult.

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  9. Haay. My first comment wasn't posted, it was long pa naman. hehehe.. Anyway, we've experienced the same things mommy. I also delivered my son via CS although we've already seen it on the 7th month scan. My OB wasn't too concerned though, as long as I have enough water. Turned out, nag oligo ako 10 days before my due date so I had to be admitted. His heartbeat wasn't good with every contraction thus the emergency CS.

    For breastfeeding, so true! I've spent the months before I gave birth researching and watching videos on how to give birth that I didn't have time to read more on breastfeeding. I also exclusively breastfed for 1 week only.

    Cloth Diapering - I've also tried this, even bought 8 pieces but they weren't working for me. We had no helper and thus maintenance seems like a lot.

    Baby food - I've tried them all. Cerelac, lugaw, veggies, pero kahit ano naman kinakain nila.

    Exposure to gadgets - He only showed interest when he was 2 i guess. He's become a little addicted to the iPad though so we're doing a detox every now and then. There's nothing wrong with technology naman. In fact, he learned his ABCs and 123s watching the TV. Hehehe..

    Mommy Joy

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    1. Thanks for sharing Mommy Joy. That's a great input! We have a Kindle Fire na naka lock sa profile ng baby ko kaya wala siyang mapapanood na hindi educational. Sa TV namin nakablock ang channels na cartoons na hindi educational.

      Super parehas tayo sa breastfeeding nakakatawa ano kasi busy tayo on giving birth what to expect but hindi natin napaghandaan ang breastfeeding hahaha

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  10. You're a good mom! We can't be defined by our mistakes. Guilty ako sa screen time. Dati sobrang I judge other moms na puro screen time ang anak. Pero nung ako na, and I work at home, the only way I can concentrate is to give my toddler something to do. She gets bored with toys and books pag walang kalaro, pag screen, she can watch alone. Pero like what you do, I review her. Pag magkatabi kami, I ask her stuff from the videos she watches. Mas marami pang alam na types of dinosaur anak ko kesa saken just because she watched a video of it.
    Re: breastfeeding. I am a counselor. But as I always advice new moms, pag di na kaya, always ask for help. Mahirap kasi i-Google lahat. Mahirap din kapag masyado marami ang nagsasalita sa paligid. So choose one na you'll be comfortable discussing your struggles with and would come to you and help you, demonstrate stuff. And I get na nakakafrustrate naman talaga pag di natin magawa. Iiyak si baby, iiyak ka na din. Don't be too hard on yourself. The fact that you're giving your all, you are more than supermom. ;)

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    1. Thank you Mommy Bianca. Whenever I heard Dinosaur, naaalala ko agad ang Dinosaur ni George (Peppa Pig) because my baby loves to mimic that. For the breastfeeding part, not a struggle really but I wasn't educated talaga, hindi ako gaanong nagresearch because I didn't expect it or di ako nag advocate talaga that time. Ewan ko. Although I wanted to, also di ko din nabanggit sa OB ko. Paggising ko meron ng lata ng gatas sa tabi ko. But yes, on my 2nd baby I will make time for that because I wanted to do things I haven't done for my first. Ang struggle ko lang sa breastfeeding siguro ay yung ibang moms na sobrang maka judge sa non bf mommy na parang gustong isampal sa muka ng nanay na kasalanan ang hindi nakapagpadede ng anak. If you know what I mean.

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  11. I wish I knew that there are some moms who will judge you. I wish that I knew that, so it would prepare me fir not taking things personally when we are haywired with our hormones. HAHAHA

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    1. Minsan nakakagigil eh ano. But I am learning to keep the calm in my nerves. I dunno, but some moms are really "nerve wracking" sometimes. Ang peperfect. Kaya ayun siguro minsan wag na lang din mag over share sa online world kasi di talaga maiiwasan na meron at merong lalabas na mga ganung scenario tipong "you and the perfect moms against each other".

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