My journey as a mom is a roller coaster ride full of emotions. It wasn't easy as I have to deal with different kinds of motherhood do's and don'ts, what ifs and what's more. So many unsolicited advice when you share your day to day activity and so many Know-It-All Moms out there. Don't judge, but admit it, some moms are better off with or without all the information you feed them. Let them live freely, on their own terms, on their own experience. As we all know, all of us became a first time mom too and I know for sure, you wouldn't like the idea either. Every child is unique, therefore every parenting is much different for every home.


Since Isobelle is now 4 years old and I am beginning to get back to my usual self, much time for my reading and writing, balancing my day as a mom and and wife, it's getting a lot easier as the day passes. But what if, one day, we decided to have another one? What are the things that I wanted to do when that time comes which I didn't do as I raise Isobelle? What are some of the Millennial Moms doing that I don't want to follow? Read on my take on motherhood and how I deal with it.


In terms of giving birth, Cesarean or Normal?

Isobelle was born through the Cesarean Method although the birth plan was Normal. But due to the loop cord, we have to do an emergency CS. One thing I learned about this was, having an ultrasound every month and even right before you give birth. Because who knows? Maybe if I did an ultrasound a week before my labor I could have known Isobelle's position. I was 1 cm dilated for 4 hours and the baby isn't getting out. Good thing that my OB was alert and suspected that it may be a loop cord that keeps the baby inside me. I was on the verge at that time and the only thing I can think of was, whatever happens, please save the baby. God didn't permit us to have both in danger. It was a successful delivery. I don't know if I can bear a normal delivery next time but if the OB says so, I will trust her. I just hope that the judgment towards giving birth will stop. Because whatever they have gone through, each of us have a different story. 


The Breastfeeding Mama

Could have I read so much and know a lot with breastfeeding techniques before Isobelle popped out, I could have survived breastfeeding. Apparently, I only got a week to feed her. She wasn't latching due to many circumstances alongside my discomfort because of my stitch and the eyes of everyone who visited me during that time telling me what to do. But above this all, I was informed that I didn't try at all which is not true because even if I only have a week to try, I TRIED. I try to feed her when we are alone, at night when I wasn't feeling well to stand up, trying different positions just to make her latch, but she really wasn't latching. Maybe it is true that whatever you feel, you also pass the feeling towards your child. Maybe that is one of the reasons why we can't push through. I also tried pumping, but I use a regular pump and manually doing it is tiresome and not helping enough to produce more milk. I could have bought an electric one which is by far most suitable to use for my engorged breasts. I could have fed Isobelle the best milk I have that time, but I failed. I hope that on our next child, I can be that Breastfeeding Mama.


Babywearing

I've seen a lot of my friends who are doing this and I don't know this before, honestly. I've been carrying Isobelle for much longer until two years old because she cannot sleep. I have difficulty bringing her with me when I go to places because we have a bulky stroller or I have to carry her from time to time. Maybe I can try this next time, but I am not really sure if I can do it.


Cloth Diapering

This by far is one of the biggest issues for me. I've been using disposable diapers since day 1 and I've been receiving awful comments ever since because they said that I am wasting a lot of money. I know, but don't judge till you weren't in my shoe. As long as I can have that money to buy 1, I don't think there's something wrong about that. I admire those who use cloth diapers, really, because they are not just saving the environment and their money but also because they are not afraid of the work after. Because I am, I am cringing at the thought of washing a cloth with a poop. Seriously, this will still be a NO on our next baby. Up to now, we're still using nappies because Isobelle is not yet ready for potty.


First Baby Food

They say that the first thing a mother should think of is the child's health. Along with it is how you feed them. Baby's first food is also one of the topics mother's are fighting for. Mother's have different approaches when it comes to this one. Some tend to feed their child with Cerelac which some mother's claim is not a healthy option. But count me in on those who use Cerelac as Isobelle's first food aside from the mash potato. I have a mix of it and maybe that's one of the culprits on why Isobelle tends to be a picky eater. I'll try to do the tamang kain for our next baby and see if it has an effect on proper feeding. It's hard to prepare decent meals actually, up to now, I am struggling because I don't do grocery and I don't usually eat fruits and veggies. The only things we can eat are potatoes, carrots, squash and sometimes sayote. For fruits, we rarely have apples and ponkan and Isobelle is not eating them, just smirking and avoiding it, though she loves freshly squeezed orange juice.


Exposure to Technology, hence the power of gadgets

This is one of the questionable and still debatable among others. But the thing is, with Isobelle, I notice that she's more into visuals that is why I allow her screen time as opposed to what others say. She can learn so much more with every educational video and apps in one sitting. Then, as a parent, I guide her and review her. This step is always skipped by parents. Admit it, that some parents just use technology and gadgets to keep their child busy while they are doing something else may it be a chore or work. We should also instill to parents that having conversations while she's watching will add impact to using the gadgets and not just letting him/her watch whatever they want on Youtube. Be that parent who also learns alongside your child. Think of ways and activities on how you can incorporate what she learns through apps on an activity away from gadgets. That way you can keep the balance between exposing her though television and mobiles, and letting her explore offline. 


Prep schooling versus homeschooling

I was always asked if Isobelle is already going to school because she knows about the basics, colors, shapes and alphabet, singing nursery rhymes and such. But I always shrug with the idea of sending her off to school for preparatory. Aside from it's expensive since we were advised by Development Pedia for a private school, I don't want her to be cramming up just so she can be learning with her age group. I don't judge those who send off their child, as long as the child itself is having fun with school, but let me reiterate that I am annoyed by those parents who let their child go to school at a young age just because the parents want to and just because it's mandatory and uso. I wanted an environment for Isobelle wherein she can just relax while she's still not age appropriate for school. I wanted her to freely learn at her own pace, at her own interest and at the same time at a much suitable place which is our home. Why? Because I always believe that education should start at home with the help of parents. I don't want her to be that child who happens to depend on tutors just because she doesn't want to follow her mom or dad who's teaching her. I don't want her to be that child at an age of 6 carrying a big bag full of books she doesn't really use everyday. I don't want her to solve mathematics and chemistry which is not really applied to daily living and to her future life. I wanted her to learn and teach me on how to be the best parent I can be by investing my time during this stage, setting aside my other priorities while she's still young. Because for now, she needs me more than she needs somebody.


Saving for her Future a.k.a Long Term Investments

One thing I ensured before Isobelle came to us is to secure a bank account dedicated for her. So right after I have her documents, the birth certificate and such, I go to BDO and apply for an account. I opened up an account in which all of her money was put into. From Baptismal to Birthdays and Christmas aginaldo's I put it in her bank account. A year later, when I had enough funds to open up an investment, I input her money first at SIDC Cooperative wherein I allot an amount for a year, a time deposit which earned 3%. After that, I use her money to invest under BPI's UITF. I wanted it to grow because it's not always that she will receive money from others, and I want her to save at a young age. So when the time comes, that we can no longer support her needs, she can have enough money to get by, and just in case we might not have enough for her schooling.


Not losing yourself above it all

With all the stress and circumstances you might face, the most advisable thing to do is to not overdo what you have to do. Take one step at a time. Everyone can learn at her own pace and having it all would have a negative impact much more when you are not prepared enough to do so. Do not lose yourself in the process of giving the best parenting to your child. Have a ME time each time you feel like you're so full. Ask your husband to spend a day with you to also rekindle your relationship with him. Or ask your mom or in-laws to have your baby for an hour or two so you could recharge. It's hard to do it all together but it's harder to have it done with a tired body and mind. There's research that some mother's die because of this. Have a pamper time when you feel like you're almost drained for a week-long activity at home. That's what I do and I feel empowered each time I am recharge. It's like I am a Wonder Woman feeling, ready to take the unlimited task as a MOM.


I hope that this can also help other aspiring moms and mom to be. I hope that you can also share your take as a mom in the comments section or feel free to send me a message if you want to be anonymous. Perhaps sharing something like this would also help others who are struggling just like me.