While I was busy with married life and having a kid, where did my friends go?

I often wonder if I really have a certain group of friends or if ever I really have friends in this time of my life. Why? Because ever since I got married and have a kid, my friends are nowhere to find. It seems like we are all not connected to each other if I have to compare our relationship back then. Sometimes I tend to feel like I don't have friend at all. Do I?

grabbed from google

At some point of your life have you ever feel like you needed a friend for a day but they are nowhere to be found. You only have one choice, which is your husband or your wife. But the problem is you wanted to talk to somebody. You wanted to whine around to someone who is not your spouse. Because you needed a shoulder to cry on, to laugh with or criticize with. But for some, they just tell you to STOP. You have a whole life now which is far from your friends. Really? Who tells you that? Just because we're married and our friends are single doesn't mean we can't communicate with each other. Or, has it really been that way, that we are not connected at all because of different status right now? I believe that. I hope not.

When I was still single, I used to go out with friends. Group of friends actually because I have those groups before; my online friends, my work colleagues, my schoolmates, my cousins, my bestfriends, etc. But since we have different lives and locations, we tend to be divided. Divided we fall. Some of my friends got married first. Some went to abroad for work and others stay single and still waiting for their prince or princess to come. I was beginning to start my own family. 

I was centered on my relationship with my husband but not limited to friends. But I tend to go on my own since I also work home-based back then. So my full attention was devoted to home, husband and online. I still talk to my friends when they send me a message online or when they interact to my facebook account but that was just it. And we are just "See you when I see you". Literally, whenever we see each other, it was like ages when we last spoke or heard of. 

But that wasn't really a problem. As time goes by, we learn about this friendship really doesn't last. As the saying goes, "friends come and go" and "we learn who the real friends are". But do not take it for granted because we also gain friends. When I became a mom, I gain mom friends along the way. I learn from them. I exchange opinion with them and some of my friends who got married also ask for my advice as well. It's glad to hear it that way. 

So don't look at the negative side of not having a friend around. Just let them be. What matters most is that you can count on them whenever you have a problem. Know when to know and who's door to knock. Know who will always be at your side when you are down and happy with your success. Always stick with your lifetime friend, which is your husband and your mom perhaps. And most of all, God.

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  1. I agree with this! When you get married, most of your friends won't relate to you and to your daily life anymore, unless you got married at almost the same time.

  2. This is so true! I could totally relate to this even if I'm not yet married (not in a relationship yet). I'm currently live away from my old friends and we rarely communicate now.

    Vanessa | Simply Vanessa

    1. Did you live away from them or sila? Even if we are all in facebook we just hit LIKES now and not chattering around. So sad but I have to accept the reality that maybe they don't want to talk over something. I just focus my day to day with other things.


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